Our friends have a daughter, now a teenager, who when she was very young, had several speech “impediments.” She just couldn’t pronounce certain words or letters. In particular, her “s” sounded like an “f.”

Well, when she was a young one, this problem with proper pronunciation provided much mirth for her parents. As she has gotten older, her parents have had to tell her about several little snafus, because, not unexpectedly, she has no independent recollection of the “fuff fee ufed to fay.”

While we were on buh-cay-shun, i.e. “vacation,” we discovered she had never heard one of our favorite stories that her parents shared with us. So her mom, thinking that she was now mature enough to understand the story, told it again. I will try to do it justice:

Once upon a time there was a cute and sweet little girl, hereinabove mentioned with the aforesaid impediment, who was eating supper with her family at the Solid Rock Café (yeah, cute name, huh? Her father was in seminary). Well, she, as most children do, loved to talk about what was most important to her at the time: some nursing kittens. She had even given them a cute little name. During the meal, the little girl began her story about the kittens with her pet name: “The Sucking Ones . . .” And immediately her parents turned brilliant red as all the seminary students and their families turned aghast to look at our friends.

Our friends’ daughter turned a similar shade and laughed heartily as she realized what she had said. We were all laughing as hard as our stomachs would allow, when we heard the eight year-old daughter, softly, but clearly, pose a poignant question: “The *@#%ing ones?!? What’s that?”

Needless to say, we laughed harder, though discreetly, as her mom told her calmly not to say that anymore.

*@#%ing phonics!

My wonderful in-laws have given my husband a fantastic dining table for his December birthday! It is hard to describe how thankful I am for this table. This table is beautiful. It goes perfectly in our home, and in fact, really classes up the joint! It is strong and sturdy. It is big: It seats up to eight – EIGHT – EIGHT!!! – people! At one time!

The friends and family to be served! The feasts to be eaten! The wine to be drunk! The bread to be buttered! The milk to be spilled! The cookies to be eaten! The stories to be told! The songs to be sung! The prayers to be offered! The pictures to be drawn! The games to be played! The memories to be made! I am as happy as a little girl!

I remember one Christmas when my mom received a beautiful dining room table. For years after, every time my sister, my brother or I had our feet on one of the pedestal legs, she would say “Get your feet off of My Christmas Present! How would you like it if I put my feet on your Christmas present?!?” At the time, I scoffed. But now, I understand the ability to cherish an inanimate object that will be the setting of so many pleasurable moments in my family’s life!

Thank you Emmy and Granddad!